Rewarding and interesting as this job is (frequently seen on a par to that of a jet pilot or minor celebrity) my ego has not been unbruised by the notable lack of interest in my debut into the blogosphere, despite several scintillating articles and a Twitter campaign that would have left Stephen Fry sobbing into his keyboard.

I intend to use this newfound anonymity to full advantage, starting with my pre Summer Budget predictions!

Firstly, I see good news on the horizon for investors as those Stock Market and Eurobond capital losses will now be relieved at 40% or perhaps even 50% instead of the existing miserly 18%.

As an additional gesture of kindness the Clegaroons also intend to reduce the Capital Gains Tax exemption to reduce the trauma of seeing good tax relief go to waste, unused at the end of the tax year.

The Controlled Foreign Companies rules are also due for revision in my opinion, so the few multinationals that have been remiss enough not to have realised their profits in tax havens will not have to pay tax anyway. In the event that your company cannot obtain a Belizean work permit fear not – as the tax hacks are predicting a fall in the main rate of Corporation Tax from 28% to 25%.

However our friends the “Non Doms” don’t appear to be enjoying the same favour as companies, which is all a bit confusing when you’re talking about attracting inward investment! Currently an individual who has a non UK domicile doesn’t pay tax on their overseas income for their first seven years of residence in the UK but must pay £30,000 per year for the privilege thereafter. But maybe not for much longer say the jungle drums. For my money this looks a bit odd alongside the company rules and I’m sure this will be a subject for a “full and frank discussion” between our illustrious leaders.

Last but not least of course there’s VAT; will it go up? Well do fish swim I say, do bears romp in the woods? To these perplexing questions I am unsure of the answer but I bet that VAT goes up by at least 2.5%.

Anyway I’ve managed to reach the bottom of the page now and as you can only take so much fun I’m off to the Bullingdon, I hear it’s smashing!

Follow 22nd June Budget with live tweets at http://twitter.com/dbsellek

Download the Tax Return Aide-Mémoire here